It’s a Load of Crap!

Unrolling the secret of toilet paper.

My husband like cushy, soft, luxury toilet paper. I like cheap, run-of-the-mill, regular toilet paper, and I don’t care if there’s an imprint or if it feels like notepaper. I used to buy a package of Kirkland Brand from Costco that cost 14.99 for 30 rolls, or 50 cents a roll, but after some complaints I opted for Charmin Ultra Soft, which is 30 rolls for 18.99, which is 63 cents per roll...not bad for the soft stuff!

Needless to say, I am always scouting for an alternative that will satisfy the need for plush paper, and this month I thought I scored with, check this, a package of AngelSoft with 96 rolls of paper for 26.99!!! The name sounded soft and the price was sweet: a whole 28 cents per roll! That is less than half the price per roll, for only a few dollars more. I had hit the toilet paper jackpot and was rollin’ in the fluff!

Until I ran into a roll of Charmin in the recesses of the bathroom cabinet and noticed that the actual roll of toilet paper was twice the size of my new AngelSoft. Oh sure, they were 2-ply, but I realized the surplus of rolls taking up my beloved closet space was made up of more tubing than toiletry! Now I was unsure whether I got a good deal or a load of crap, so here’s the part where I teach you the math, because it is likely that you will not have the same deals going on in your area that I do in mine:

A roll of Charmin is 231 sheets and each sheet measures 4.5” x 4” while a package contains 6 rolls and there are 5 packages per Costco box, for a total of 30 rolls. The individual packages contain 173 sqft total.

A roll of AngelSoft is 132 sheets and each sheet measures 4” x 4” while a package contains 4 rolls and there are 24 packages per Costco box, for a total of 96 rolls. The individual packages contain 58.6 sqft total.

There are 3 ways to measure the quantity of paper:

1) Total Square Feet;

Charmin: 173 (sqft per package) AngelSoft: 58.6 (sqft per package)

x      5 (packages) x    24    (packages)

    865 Total Square Feet  1406    Total Square Feet

2) Linear Feet;

Charmin: 6930 Total Sheets AngelSoft: 12672 Total Sheets

x        4  Inch Length per sheet x            4 Inch Length

              27720 Inches Total        50688 Inches Total

/       12 Inches per Foot /           12 Inches per Foot

    2310 Linear Feet    4224 Linear Feet

3) Total Sheets;

Charmin: 231 (sheets per roll) AngelSoft: 132 (sheets per roll)

x    30 (rolls) x      96 (rolls)

             6930 Total Sheets 12672 Total Sheets

Some would argue that the square footage is the true quantity and users will grab the same amount in square feet no matter how wide the paper is, or how many sheets that comes out to. In that case we take the price of the box and divide by the total square feet.

Charmin: 18.99 / 865 =  2.1 Cents per Square Foot

AngelSoft: 26.99 / 1406 = 1.9 Cents per Square Foot

Kirkland: 14.99/ 1594 = 0.9 Cents per Square Foot

Others would say, to an extent it doesn’t matter how wide your paper is, you’re going to grab the same length of it, which would mean the key lies in the linear feet! In that case we take the price of the box and divide by the total linear feet.

Charmin: 18.99 / 2310 = 0.82 Cents per Linear Foot

AngelSoft: 26.99 / 4224 = 0.64 Cents per Linear Foot

Kirkland: 14.99 / 4250 = 0.35 Cents per Linear Foot

And the quick way to tell, with the least amount of math in the aisle of toilet paper is to go by sheets, which is akin to the linear feet. In that case we take the price of the box and divide by the total number of sheets.

Charmin: 18.99 / 6930 = 0.27 Cents per Sheet

AngelSoft: 26.99 / 12672 = 0.21 Cents per Sheet

Kirkland: 14.99 / 12750 = 0.12 Cents per Sheet

I threw in the Kirkland Brand after doing the math on my own, which by the way is the same width as Charmin if you were curious, and after ALL of that math, we have figured out that AngelSoft is definitely cheaper, but only by pennies, rather than the doubled inventory I seemed to acquire for a third of the price per roll! So if your budget (or your linen closet for that matter) can’t fit the extra dollars in, don’t sweat it. The benefit is that you will save around $7 per box of AngelSoft for the same quantity of Charmin, which may or may not be an acceptable loss to you. Plus, you will never run out of those short toilet paper tubes that are so popular for art projects!

And if you don’t have the budget for plush paper, relish in the fact that you will pay half the price for your TP no matter which way you measure, which is a whopping $14 per box of AngelSoft! I’ve heard the argument that a person uses more paper when it is thinner like Kirkland, but I counter that same person doubtedly uses 1.5 times more (which is when it would catch up to AngelSoft prices)!!!

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